The Boring Legal Bit (But With Less Yawning)
Look, we’re not here to steal your identity, sell your organs on the dark web, or flood your inbox with "One Weird Trick" emails. We’re far too lazy for that. But, because some countries (and our mum) insist we behave like adults, here's our attempt at a grown-up privacy policy.
What We Collect (Other Than Bad Decisions)
We collect:
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Your email (if you give it to us willingly, like a fool).
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Your IP address (because our website wants to feel important).
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Maybe your browsing habits—only to see if you also Google “why do hotel pillows smell like sorrow.”
We promise not to use your data for anything nefarious. We mostly look at it and think, “Huh. Someone actually visited.”
How We Use Your Info (Spoiler: Not Much)
We may:
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Send you an email if we’ve got something truly hilarious or occasionally useful.
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Glance at stats and pretend we're data scientists.
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Make ourselves feel better by seeing more than 3 people visited the site this month.
We don’t:
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Sell your info. We’re not monsters. Or Facebook.
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Share your info with third parties. Unless they’re really funny.
Cookies (Sadly Not Chocolate Chip)
Yes, we use cookies. No, you can’t eat them. They help the website work. Or so Wix tells us. You can disable them, but things might get weird. Like, “hotel kettle used for soup” weird.
GDPR & Legal Stuff We Pretend to Understand
If you're in the UK/EU, you're entitled to:
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Ask what data we hold about you (we’ll probably have to go look).
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Tell us to delete it (done).
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Pretend you're reading this for any reason other than procrastination.
Changes to This Policy
If we ever get sued or grow a conscience, we might change this policy. Come back and read it again if you're having trouble sleeping.
Contact Us
Need help? Want to complain? Want to tell us your room had 4 fire alarms but no Wi-Fi?
📧 nigel@nomintonmypillow.com
We’ll get back to you. Probably. Unless we’re reviewing a hotel that thinks Wi-Fi is a luxury.