Ibis Nottingham – Budget Drama With a Side of Cardio
- Nigel Slippers
- Jul 12, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 7, 2025
Price tag? Suspiciously cheap.
Arrival? Nothing says “welcome” like paramedics and police cars. Within five minutes I was wondering if I’d accidentally booked into an emergency simulation. Spoiler: I hadn’t.
🚨 The Emergency Welcome Mat
There’s checking in, and then there’s witnessing a medical crisis before you even get your key card. Staff were busy, guests were confused, and I was wondering if I should just keep driving.
🛗 Lift Panic Experience™
Ah yes, the lift. Designed by someone who clearly hated people. It stopped between floors. I had to pry it open and perform a low-budget Mission Impossible escape. Nothing like a burst of adrenaline and claustrophobia to kick off your stay.
🚿 Plastic Chic
The room was giving “festival porta-loo meets caravan showroom.”
Shower door opens straight into the bed, because who needs privacy when you’ve got moulded plastic charm? Perfect for solo travellers or couples who’ve completely given up on boundaries.
🍺 Pint of Redemption
Reception threw me a free beer voucher as a peace offering for my near-death check-in.
I accepted, because I’m not a monster.
Went for a Camden Town — cold, crisp, and the only thing in this hotel that didn’t squeak, groan, or threaten my life.
🪜 Stairmaster Mode: Activated
Attempted the lift again post-pint. Still broken. So I climbed the stairs like a hotel-themed gladiator challenge. Hotel said “budget stay,” not “free leg day.”
📸 Unexpected Fame
Just when I thought things had peaked, I walked out to find two locals asking if they could use my car for a photo shoot. They were very polite and probably TikTok-famous.
Or cult leaders. Jury’s still out.
Final Thoughts:
Ibis Nottingham: come for the savings, stay because the lift won’t let you leave.
Would I return? Possibly. But next time I’m packing a rope ladder, a first aid kit, and a priest — just in case.
⭐ 2.2 out of 5 – Bonus points awarded for the free pint and unexpected cameo in a crime drama.
🏥🚓🔧🏃♂️🍺
“A hotel, a gym, a thriller set, and a local celebrity meet-and-greet — all for under £60. Bargain.” Curious how this hotel stacks up against the rest?
👉 See the full Accor-ometer: Beds, Beers & Bad Decisions
Stayed here once. Woke up to a pigeon in the hallway and someone playing the recorder at 3am. Thought it was a dream. It wasn’t. The lift tried to eat me too. Nottingham’s finest.
Is this a hotel review or the plot to a low-budget action film? I was going to book this place… now I’m just wondering if I need travel insurance or a stunt double.
Ah yes, the classic ‘shower opens into the bed’ layout — because who doesn’t love steam with their sleep? Between the paramedics, haunted lift, and surprise fashion shoot, it’s honestly offensive they don’t charge extra for the entertainment.
Stayed here last year — can confirm the lift is basically a vertical coffin with mood swings. Didn’t get a free beer though, just mild trauma and a cracked phone screen. 10/10 would stay again for the chaos.